Sarah Collens Adams

It was an honor to be my mom’s son. I largely owe who I am and who am going to continue to become to this great woman whom we cherish and remember today. I told her before she passed that I will miss her so deeply. But that she has given me enough to learn from her the rest of my life. What I share with you today will be some of those lessons she daily wove into my character.

But before I say anything else I want to say this. My mom loved you and cared for you. For those who knew her well you know she not only loved you, but she loved future you. She often could see in someone a real and yet unrealized beauty, and through honest feedback and relentless encouragement she sought to pull that potential into the present. My mom did not bullshit, In fact she really did not know how. She told it like it was. And if you only hear one thing I say please remember this. The love she spoke to you, she meant it. Wholly, fully and completely. Believe it.

To accompany the absence of BS my mom was unabashedly herself. Where in a sea of “fitting in” she stood out by so much more than her colorful attire. From a young age she taught me how the world had a need for uniqueness, diversity and creativity.. something that takes bravery. And if you have ever created art or shared something sacred to you, you know the emotional courage it takes to reveal that part of you to the world. She taught by example to bring that emotional courage into daily life, forgoing the comfort of conformity for the thrill of uniqueness.

I have always said the most valuable person in every story is the one who understands the situation as it truly is. If someone is incredibly strong but throws their weight in the wrong direction it is of little use. If someone is very smart yet directs that intelligence towards the wrong aim little is accomplished. It is rather the individual who grasps reality that has the most to offer.

And within that rare group who can see reality there are two factions. One that speaks the truth and one that does something about it.

My mom saw clearly and she was a doer. Wherever she found lack she took action. My mom Stood in the Breach. And what that means is being willing to bear the brunt of an attack when other defenses have failed. And she did this in so many ways. Whither it was showing someone value in their perceived worthlessness, or chasing down kids throwing railroad spikes at cars and calling them to a higher standard, or gently but firmly chastising strangers for littering or Whipping out WD40 at a burger king to clear the air of a squeaky door, or turning a rainy day into great fun. She was a problem solver who jumped in without hesitation to tackle the issue of the day. She lived brave and wherever there was a gap she truly stood in the breach.

It is said that the greatest compliment to an academic is possessing the ability to change one’s mind in real time. And while my mom was a fierce interlocutor she could do just that. She was my favorite person to disagree with because she had enough strength to stand in the gap left by any offense and continue the relationship with grace. And if maturity is the ability to bring others along with you. She lived out the mature wisdom that true greatness befriends its enemy and that conversation planted in common ground is the root of progress. Many here have been challenged by my mom where from love she found a common place to build a trusting and lasting relationship.

If you were a student of hers you would hear many sayings from my mom, such as; French is more than French. My personal favorite was Show up and Try.

Things are not built if we do not show up and try. And as children my mom taught us to do this through hard work and dedication. And she started us at a young age. To give you one window into this; when my sister Esther was too young to even speak a handkerchief was dropped in front of her and she crawled over and began to scrub the floors. My mom set the stage for adventure; whither it was straw forts, tree houses, painting, gardening, blocks, swimming or even waging war on an invading army of Canadian Geese.  And she wouldn’t do more than simply show us the ropes. It was up to us to show up and put the effort in. For example the aforementioned invading army of canadian geese, who not only pooped everywhere (and we all know how much my mom loved to walk around barefoot) but those geese had the audacity to eat just about everything in her vegetable garden. And this could not stand! So I was given an old WWII helmet, a trash can lid and broom stick and was hastily sent into battle. The first year I was so little I might as well have been fighting velociraptors. They chased me around and pecked me sooo hard, and she let me take those losses. But a few years later I was finally able to rid her precious garden of those meroding raiders.. who I’m sure figured there had to be a better place to land that didn’t have a raging trash can lid wielding psychopath romping about. Another way she encouraged us to show up and try was a fake currency system to incentivize us to learn French. She labeled everything in the house what it was in french and carried around fake orange cash to hand out for those who spoke French. She posted the rewards: it cost 3 points for a can of pop, 7 points for a box of popsicles and so on all the way to 500 points for a trip to an amusement park. My mom made learning fun. She filled our youth with the magic of risk and the lasting confidence that comes from challenges overcome and hope realized. 

In pop culture we often hear things like, “There is no try, there is only do.” Or “Just do it.” These are powerful statements yet are only one side of the tension. These statements point towards a perfect conquest of life’s obstacles and are akin to obvious platitudes full of truth yet void of practicality. They are missing the true elegance of how humanity progresses. They are absent the brilliance of failure. From a bird’s eye view “just do it” is a great broad stroke toward success, but the trenches of reality sing a different song, a sweeter one full of adventure. That song is called “Show up and try.” Did Lincoln just free the slaves, did The Wright brothers just bring man to flight? Lincoln, the Wright brothers and others like them made a daily pledge to shuck fear and pour out their hearts to fill their dreams. Just do it makes it seem like you will even know what to do, when the truth is as you daily show up, as you daily try, each success and each failure crest a new horizon towards tomorrow’s adventures.

Every individual is beautifully teeming with potential. And it is the unleashing of that individual genius that over the past 300 years has brought worldwide abject poverty from 1 in 2 to 1 in 20. This extraordinary feat was wrought with failure and the daily execution of show up and try. The unknown is ripe and ready for the harvest. But the harvesters are few .. and not due to any inability, but due to the fear of failure…. due to the embodiment of the lie that failure is embarrassing. No! The obstacle is the way. Show up! Try! The vial is torn and the bounty of the unknown calls every name. And I’ll tell you what you’ll, “JUST do” you will fail. And thank God. Because the world will change.

Like I have said before, my mom was a woman of action. And in her honor, I end this with a call to action, a charge.

Your problems may only be known by you. But indeed you know what they are. And maybe you’ve known for so long… Languish no longer. Love yourself enough to be yourself, Stop looking to the armor of another. Your life experiences have given you a capable sling that is ready for the giant. And when the walls are crashing down and those around you begin to waver..

STAND IN THE BREACH.

ADVANCE.

TAKE GROUND.

LAY CLAIM TO YOUR DESTINY.

Then pass it on.