Men should not treat women Equally

Mandatory reading prior to this post: Click here

You may have read the title as, “Men should treat women badly.” That is just silly. Read it again. 

Before I go any further, let me state what should be obvious to a thinking person, though men and women are not the same/equal in every way, we are equally valuable. Is it not noble to put others before oneself? For me, I will not treat women as equals or equally; I will treat women better. I will honor our differences with a holy reverence; I will give what I have as a gift and humbly receive what I do not. 

You get to choose to read this post under juxtaposed mantles. 

• You might interact with this topic within the mindset of competing victimhoods, where we make the headline the other's very real shortcomings, and use our position to accuse, judge, and take power. Here we all lose.

• Or, in appreciation of our differences; where in meekness we use our innate advantages as both a shield to protect, and red carpet to invite the other along with us. It is here where we not only find progress but self-love.

To start, let's touch grass; let's ground ourselves to some reality. What follows is unfortunately necessary due to the ad nauseam fear response toward our inalienable prima facie differences. What follows might hurt. The more obvious the truth we are blind to, the more traumatic the shock when we finally smell the roses. Objective truths only have the ability to upset us to the degree we believe lying about them works. Thankfully lying doesn't work. At best, it subsidizes pain in the present just to create a more significant trauma in the future.

• Objectively, at the top and on average, men are better at the measurables. Bigger, faster, stronger, men even think faster. Physically speaking, men invent everything, they fix and maintain everything, and when the bell rings, they sacrifice everything. If our nation had a chore list, all the tasks everyone wouldn’t want to do are done by men, and it keeps the lights on. Feminists cite this or that “study” to “prove” that women are better at this or that. We know this is not the case because, in real life, the best in the world at ______ is a man. Only with a narrow, circumstantial, subjective focus can anyone pull together a semblance of logic to argue that a woman is the best in the world at a measurable thing. Not acknowledging this undeniable data point does a huge disservice to all.

• Subjectively: Imagine if the nation were divided in half, and on each side, every position of labor and authority were held exclusively by one sex, and inversely all positions more passive and without authority were held by the other. Every politician, plumber, architect, soldier, and general was one gender, and every housekeeper, stay-at-home parent, etc. was the other. While some women say they want dirty jobs, on mass, they don't. Just because HGTV shows you the one in ten thousand interested in such work doesn't mean you'll have running water. If just 50 years were allowed to pass, 100% of people, if given a choice, would choose to live where men ruled. Women thrive in excess, the excess that through toil and blood men built and are building. (insert gratitude here) The truth is men are happy to do so, it is one of our greatest joys to give this excess to women, and it is our privilege to see what comes next.

Are you offended? I am! I'm offended that our society has misappropriated value onto measurables almost exclusively. I write in hopes of restoring balance, in hopes that we can no longer be afraid of objective reality, in hopes that we might learn to give value beyond the masculine, beyond the measurables.

Before I go any further, part 2: This isn't a competition. If you are reading this with a competitive mindset, you have already lost. Imagine a marriage where both parties competitively tried to one-up or gloat over the other in areas they were more qualified or experienced. Let me say it again, men are not better than women. So take a deep breath with me, and let's dare to engage in a topic our handlers have said we don't have the authorization to think about, let alone talk about. It's time to shake off the blame game; let's get rid of our addiction to finding whose fault something is. I'm sure you understand my interruptions and addendums; this topic has been one we disagree to agree on for several generations, and it is up to us to move on from a forced-conforming unity to a freeing diverse unity.

I love stats; I love math; I love data. But they only get you so far. Many sports franchises have created a “super team” just to produce an awful record. It’s because what is measurable is not the whole picture. Many Fortune 500 businesses that created a “super team” to solve X or Y have been outmatched by upstart nobodies. Again, it is because the spectrum of value is vastly more than what might be easily tracked in Excel.

You can bring up all the amazing statistics you want about a certain company, but people will stay or leave because of what you can not see or fully measure. Yes, you can measure the effects, but you can’t measure it itself.

If value began and ended with spreadsheets and the quantifiable physical world, then one might be able to say men are better than women. But this is not the case. Not even close. We too often look at stats or charts to determine success when many a time the best question is: did you win? Plenty of losing teams have put up better numbers… who cares. Women win. Her name is Lady Victory for a reason. Sadly both men and women have been conditioned to only value what is seen & tangible. This misallocation of value has dulled beauty's edge and tamed the force of nature that is the extraordinary magnificence of unbridled femininity. Furthermore, it has sent both genders on a fool's errand.

If you want to win in life, allow women to earn their rightful place. Handouts are unnecessary and, beyond being disgraceful, are a considerable part of the problem. Women can and will earn it, and it will be awesome to behold.

The purpose of life is to adventure towards beauty. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman living out her identity. The beauty of women brings all things together. Women possess the intangibles, the unmeasurables, that bind together every hope and dream. Women are the ultimate “it” factor and are the crown of the created world. All things find the culmination of their purpose by a woman's touch. Women are thee mystery; they are a depth that not a word might describe. Furthermore, women are ascendant when the moment is most extreme; when all looks lost, there is woman rising. 

Just as the best things in life are free, the greatest beauties in life elude description. They are the ire of poem, novel, prayer, and meditation; they are that which spur risk, adventure, and every higher aim; they are the very substance of more and the spark that leads to fulfillment. A woman is a never-ending mystery. They create what is needed when it is needed. Even in the areas that they are least suited for, when the eleventh hour arrives, when things are most dire, they show up like lions. There may be no other thing that women are worse at than combat. Yet, when the homeland is threatened, when backs are against the wall, when it is all on the line, a woman fights like a thousand storms. Wrath has no fury, and sacrifice has no friend like the heart of a mother.

All this lovey-dovey, gooey-wooey stuff I'm saying about the depth of women doesn't mean women are not going to start businesses and be spectacular within every single pillar of our society; because they are and will. I have many female friends whose class and abilities are nothing short of a marvel. I have a sister who is a gem; any company in the world would be lucky to hire her. Irrespective of industry, her grace, brilliance, and wisdom would yield record-breaking results. I have a wife whose intelligence, understanding, and intuition take me back no less than every time we talk. She is an endless ocean, her vast depth is an enigma. What I seek to say here in this writing is that if men and women are equally valuable, yet men are, at the top and, on average better at established measurables, it would indicate that a significant part of a woman's value is not so easily quantifiable.

Together, as men and women, our struggle towards progress must include the other doing their part. We must support one another in and through our differences. We must move past treating each other by the lie that we are the same. The wonderful truth is we both bring an equal amount of value that the other, yes, needs but also deeply wants. There is nothing more desirable; there is nothing more worth sacrificing for than a man or woman living out their identity. No matter the conditioning, men fully and deeply desire feminine women and women, masculine men. 

Sadly, women have been lied to for generations. They have been told they do not need a man. Just as boys are encouraged to be good little girls, women have been urged to find value in how much they can be like a man. Women have been told they are times perpetual victim. It's not going well. Many women will be shocked to discover they are not actually the best at… anything… any measurable, tangible objective achievement, that is. Over the past decades, there were those that decided it was because of oppression that women were not high-yield achievers in the measurable world, and in a zero-sum rage, they set off to wage societal war against men in which defeating men looked like becoming one. They grabbed every privilege they could while claiming they had none. In their offense, they saw problems everywhere even when there were none, misdiagnosed the issue, then proposed the wrong solution. Every institution got on board, cementing this delusion into our culture. Just like the enormous subsidization of our native peoples has destroyed their resolve and quality of life, the non-stop subsidization of the feminine ego has wrought the same devastation. For it is winter, not summer, that drives progress, and while necessity is the mother of invention, the fruit of coddling is decay.

Albert Einstein said, "If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Stop climbing, start swimming.

Instead of allowing for things to progress as they do through genuine, natural human interactions, we attempted to legislate and lie our way to a more balanced future. It has left women not knowing who they are. It has pointed them in the wrong direction. One day all the clapping in the world won't be able to replace the husband they wish they had and the children they can no longer have. It is all so heartbreaking.

This blog is founded on the principle: “If you can’t talk about it, it owns you. There are no exceptions.” This topic gives me pause like few others. I fear that some might walk away from this post thinking that I am doing anything other than celebrating both women and men. I grew up with a mother whose wisdom and fortitude belonged on the world stage. Those that know me and knew her, understand the deep admiration and wonder I have for women who have said yes to self. Daring to tread this minefield that disallows us to explore our unique identities will surely cause some to call for my head. Nevertheless, I persist.

I have decided not to dive into the faults of men and women. I will only touch on them. I find it more valuable to focus on the good we each bring. Everything is fear and love. The axiomatic scale of fear is broken down into violence and control. Men mostly struggle with violence, women mostly with control. 

Men are the steel and concrete that drives progress onward through dust cloud, iron will, and pain stretched might. Men may be the pinnacle of raw mechanical efficiency, but the road where function is continuously chosen over form ends in genocide. A wise man once said to me that there is a reason that the country of function-obsessed efficient engineers started two world wars. Every truth is held in tension. When the male traits of function are left without the balance of form, they bring chaos.

For ages and ages, most lived and died in fear; every culture was a warrior culture, or it soon was laid to waste by one. In these times, men risked life and limb to give women and children the gift of being not dead. Times were hard, and so was everyone's plight. We are working together towards a better future; men and women have struggled together for a world that is safe enough for women to work and vote. These are great accomplishments that will set our world on a trajectory yet even to be imagined. In reflection of the millennia gone by, these are very new things. As new things tend to be, they aren’t always quite perfect at first, and that’s ok. Women vote to take away everyone's freedoms like no other demographic. They trade this freedom away for what they think is safety. By word or by blood, women will learn from this error. By word, if they take hold of their agency and educate themselves. By blood, if those they ceded our freedoms to, do what they always do, given enough time. I write that it might be the former.

Women stepping into their authority will change everything.

Women may never invent as many things as men. Again, who cares. You must stop looking at value with eyes only for charts and stats. What impacted the world more, inventing the tablet? Or perfecting the tablet into the iPad? Women have entered the workforce and among the uncountable amount of other beauties, they have helped empathize the workplace. They are in the process of tuning and beautifying the corporate world in a way that will bring forth a new era of advancement. I don’t say that lightly, think printing press/internet level progress. We will look back at giving women the ability to earn positions of authority as one of the single greatest catalysts toward human thriving. Their contributions will produce progress in what they do and the environments they create. The future is full of new life that comes from femininity finding her true identity.

As stated before, all new things have alfa/beta test issues. As our culture ushers women into new places, there are some asking women to be men with mammaries; still others are hesitant to acknowledge their value. 

Some on the religious right want to put women back in a place where they are mothers and homemakers and participate in community-related activities, but not much else. And while the aforementioned is a significant part of what it means to be a woman, it is not the whole beautiful picture. To stay there is to stagnate progress in every good thing. 

Some on the atheistic left want the future to be female because “men have messed everything up.” This is incredibly unwise. They often cite how men start every war. While this may be true, I hope we never experience the consequences of the most dangerous thing in the world: misplaced compassion. For compassion spares nothing in order to protect the object of its love. If misplaced compassion ever holds the ring of power, nations will fall. A future led only by women will bring us this horrible end. 

What is needed is a marriage between the two genders in all things. Nothing is 100% male or 100% female. Winning a war needs women. Making a baby needs a man. In the areas of our natural calling and dispositions, we must each welcome the other to join us. We must cherish the diversity the other brings. It is the seed to new life and unmatched progress. 

Some of you may read this as a shot across the bow of feminism. It is not. Reality does that enough. Personally, I just want to hug every feminist (angry and hateful as some might be) and tell them how valuable they are, tell them how glad I am that there is femininity, and honor them as women. Collectively and globally, feminism is beginning to lose. And lose it surely will. If I write for anything, it is towards the male response to the past 40 years. For men have the industry to retaliate against the foolish wishes of feminism with an even more consequential foolishness. It is my goal to see the pendulum stop at the bottom of its swing. 

I believe it is for men to treat women better than ourselves; for as long as we live in the physical world of which we dominate, there is no better way than to raise women up and marry together our efforts to bring forth a healing progress that is the unexplainable smile of every heart. 

Forever, Together, It is up to us. 

Post Script:

Some may say, all this just really isn't that controversial. And for you, maybe it isn't, but people have lost jobs and been deleted from the public square for less. @JamesDemore

I am not saying I am 100% right about everything in this post; I am saying that this is the conversation we should have been having all along. Let's continue it: Contact

Hold Tension, Be Vast.

Remember, restoration alone brings victory.